A Garden of Virtues

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["I was an angel once" photo placeholder] As the New York sunset disappeared I found an empty garden Among the flagstones there Who lived here? He must have been a gardener who cared a lot. Who weeded out the tears and grew a good crop. And now it all looks strange. It's funny how one insect can damage so much grain. "Empty Garden," Elton John, Bernie Taupin My baby would have been four today. Perhaps that's why I started thinking of him so much. Here  was his birthday post last year. Four years ago, one year ago, so very different, what can I say? One year from now, so very different? Thanks for your comments, A. S. I'm on my Treo and have to respond to you this way. I'm sorry. I appreciate your love and understanding. For some reason I am really feeling lost without my little blondie lately, and you really understand. Yes, I had made the Geocities page for him. His Empty Garden site should be finished soon, but who knows

I don't know how to make anyone understand. I have to be with him again. I dreamed about him again last night, and this was the first dream where he was alive, but I already knew all of his movements, his voice. A doll, alive, but when first waking it was very clear to me, while already the memory has faded considerably. I made a mini-site for Johnny, a kind of subsite to the doll memorial site I am working on called A Garden of Virtues. Johnny's site is called Empty Garden, which was the song that inspired his name. Many of my themed photos for him were equally morose. I did a shoot around a poem I had memorized from my great uncle's grave: "If tears could build a stairway and heartache make a lane, I'd climb up to Heaven to bring you home again," something like that. Anyway, I have thought of some ways to bring him home again. I feel frustrated because it will take a long time. The timing is not right at all. I tried to talk to my husband about my dream, and