A Garden of Virtues

I don't want to go out anymore.  I don't want to go out beyond the perimeter of this property. I just want to absorb the nature of this place. I have seen so much, and I just want to reflect. If I stay here long enough and think through and remember, I'll be able to unravel this tangle of places and people I've encountered over the years, and put everything in order. I'll have a complete understanding of all I've seen and done, then, if I could just take enough time here, and don't see anything else for a while.  I only want to go out to local places, because now, I have learned that the soil seethes with history, and that stones radiate stories. I have learned how to read history in the trees, soil, and stones, and I only want to go out to local places and read those stories, and experience the past overlaying the present. In those moments, the curtain between the past and the present vanishes. Nothing ever ...

To Garth: I don't know how to fuse your tattered energies together again. I thought I was the one who was meant to be saved.

I have been seeing the name "Ophelia" on gravestones; it seems to have been a popular name in the 1800s, but is less commonly-used now. The name brings my character, and former doll, Ophelia, and this journal to mind. I decided to start writing in this journal again. I have also been thinking of having a doll version of my character Ophelia again. I may get myself another ball-jointed doll for my birthday, but I'm not completely decided on it. This particular doll purchase would make for a really fun birthday for me, because I would be able to pick her up in Austin, which I love traveling to. The doll, a Serendipity Sharmin, has a broken finger, but a new set of ball-jointed doll hands is not really expensive. It's amazing that the cost of the doll is so greatly reduced for that reason. I had created a particular eBay search for this sculpt, because she has been on my wish list for so many years. There are several dolls that I am hoping to find on the secondhand ma...

For my second project of the year, I am knitting knees socks for Josette. So far, these are going according to plan.

I have made a New Year's resolution to make one hundred doll items in 2012. My first item is ruffled pyjama bottoms. So far, they don't look quite like I planned, but I'll have to see how they turn out.

Last week, a potted plant fell on my BJD's memory board and them, scattering soil everywhere. Thankfully, my dolls were unharmed, even though Leslie took a blow from the pot. I picked up most of the mess but waited until this weekend to do a deeper cleaning, which required taking apart the whole display and draperies. I rearranged Josette's books a little differently. I gave her three small Lutheran books that have been in my family for generations, although Josette is Catholic. In time, I would like for her to have a rosary, a small crucifix, Catholic prayer books, a scapula, and little pictures of Jesus and the Virgin. If we go antique shopping in New Mexico this Christmas, I might be in luck, because I remember seeing those kinds of items the last time we shopped there. I have some further ideas about Josette's and Garth's characters. Garth is Josette's fiancé. They have been friends from childhood, but in adulthood, Garth has acquired some dark experiences, i...

Every day, every morning, your face speaks to me. You are truly alive. You even know how impatient I feel to express how I feel. I am not really capable of it.

...is bringing us so much closer. The words wouldn't stop today. Unfortunately, the paragraphs didn't break, but I'll fix them on my computer. I have been a Tumblr fiend lately. Leslie's tumblr not yet been made, and so his his posts are on the dolls' story tumblr. Even my jumble of doll writings online doesn't compare to how messy and disorganized my doll room is now. It's a disturbing disaster: naked dolls, limbs, wigs, and panties everywhere. Undoubtedly, parts of valuable doll clothing sets I have bought will now be lost in this clutter. I am doing the #dollchat tonight with Josette. I'm so excited. We'll have tea and talk in the middle of this mess of a doll room. I'll have to find her an entire shirt as the one she is wearing only has one arm. I became distracted from finishing it.

Still considering Evangeline in the future, but I feel what's right for me is to de-clutter what I have first, and I don't feel motivated to do that. It's very dispiriting to go through that room actually. I have many dolls I know I don't need that have many little pieces and ensembles I'm going to have to chase down, and I'm not going to get that much money for any of it. I cannot even get into that closet to get some things I need, for sewing or otherwise, it's craziness. I tried my Hot Looks clothes and American Girl clothes on Josette today. The Hot Looks tops work well, but the bottoms are too small. I don't know that the style suited her. Her presence is so different than my other Ha Yarn Cho. It's very difficult for me to believe it's the same doll. I have thought of comparing photos, but I feel almost touchy about it. I don't really want to think about the old Josette or the differences between the old and the new. The old Josette h...

Thinking about getting a "summer doll" again has caused me to think much harder about my collection and what I really want. I can't ignore what feels "right" and what feels "wrong" and I think doll collectors go through this a lot. Basically I love collecting Barbies, because I can buy them all the time, slowly amassing my Superstar/vintages bit by bit, without much stress if I don't have the chance to play with them right away or if they aren't what I thought, or even if I ruin them trying to fix them (which definitely happens :P). On the other end, the costly end, I cannot deny that Asian ball-jointed dolls are my ideal. Right now, I have only one, and I would like to have more. I would even like Leslie to be a different doll. It would be a frightening thing to sell him not knowing if I would truly be able to afford the new doll at some point, but change is what gives the hobby excitement, even if there is uncertainty. At the same time,...

It was 1940 ... Before Josette came to the Beast's castle, she was a nurse. Though isolated from the world by the Beast's enchanted forest, Josette still heard of the war beyond his kingdom's boundaries, and her heart ached. The Beast knew Josette longed to aid in the war effort as she had before she had come to him to save her father's life. He allowed Josette to leave for Paris to work in the hospital as long as she promised to return to him. Little did he suspect how torn Josette felt at the thought of leaving him. She knew her life would be in danger, and that she might never see him again. The fact that he was willing to allow her to break her promise to serve as a nurse for a time gave her even more reason to care about him.

You can watch Josette's story here  through Twitter.