A Garden of Virtues

I can't move, can't speak or breathe You must move me around as you please And if you drop me, it will hurt me, But I can't help it if I love you With my doll's heart. I'm afraid to move, afraid to speak or breathe Lest you stop loving me So I wait silently for attention, My doll's heart beats only for you, My eyes are only on you. I don't change like you do I don't grow old Hands touch this porcelain face Others gaze into these blank doll eyes That fail to understand what they see This doll mind remains unwritten in a false innocence Love me, love me I'm trapped in an unmoving porcelain form And I can't help loving you, Silent and noninterfering, A doll's face, a doll's mind, This love, yours alone. 

Just being .. , originally uploaded by blacsylc . I thought the world was over, I thought I would never again experience this kind of beauty, thought I would never again have my own BJD's. Don't know why it's so important to me but it is. I feel so very very fortunate to have them. I thought I would never wear gothic lolita again either, but the world isn't over yet, it's not over yet, apparently I'm supposed to sojourn in this scene a while longer, I haven't fleshed it out yet completely. I feel like a lot of things have passed away, I have a certain "too late" feeling attached to so many things but that in itself is growing into a powerful creative force that's sort of overwhelming me, and yeah, I love to feel overwhelmed and powerless, I love to surrender control, it's its own sort of dark nature that lurks within me, it's I guess the "gothic lolita" that is so particular to me, a doll on a shelf, and being treated that way...

?

Doll shelf , originally uploaded by blacsylc . This is where Josette and Leslie will normally stay, off the floor. This Dark Shadows-themed board I had begun for my first Josette. I am so glad I kept it. I would also like to make a kitchen for them, a kitchen table, and a stove or tin ice box would be dreamy. Their lemonade set is a start, with small lemon and orange trees.

Leslie's things , originally uploaded by blacsylc . Leslie requires a bureau of his own for his nature study objects. In the wooden box he has vintage tripod lenses and underneath the orange kitty are his "sun prints" sort of a pre-photography invention/pastime. He once had a microscope but I was cut on its broken parts and threw it away, it kind of ruined the fun for me. :/ I hope to find him another better one someday. In the basket are their toys. I would love to find them a proper toy box instead.

Josette's red dress , originally uploaded by blacsylc . This was the first outfit I made for my first Josette, I'm so glad I kept it. It's very crude I know but it has sentimental value.

Josette's dressing room , originally uploaded by blacsylc . I spent most of today re-organizing my doll/sewing room. I have been wanting to make an environment for my bjd's and have finally done so. Tomorrow while it's light outside I will try making some videos. This portion is Josette's dressing room. Doing this gave me some great ideas for things I want to buy now. If only the antique store were still open. I always want to buy doll props but never know exactly what I need. I do need a vanity table, stool and mirror for her makeup, and I also want to get some small antique perfume bottles.

...is bringing us so much closer. The words wouldn't stop today. Unfortunately, the paragraphs didn't break, but I'll fix them on my computer. I have been a Tumblr fiend lately. Leslie's tumblr not yet been made, and so his his posts are on the dolls' story tumblr. Even my jumble of doll writings online doesn't compare to how messy and disorganized my doll room is now. It's a disturbing disaster: naked dolls, limbs, wigs, and panties everywhere. Undoubtedly, parts of valuable doll clothing sets I have bought will now be lost in this clutter. I am doing the #dollchat tonight with Josette. I'm so excited. We'll have tea and talk in the middle of this mess of a doll room. I'll have to find her an entire shirt as the one she is wearing only has one arm. I became distracted from finishing it.