I thought the world was over, I thought I would never again experience this kind of beauty, thought I would never again have my own BJD's. Don't know why it's so important to me but it is. I feel so very very fortunate to have them.
I thought I would never wear gothic lolita again either, but the world isn't over yet, it's not over yet, apparently I'm supposed to sojourn in this scene a while longer, I haven't fleshed it out yet completely.
I feel like a lot of things have passed away, I have a certain "too late" feeling attached to so many things but that in itself is growing into a powerful creative force that's sort of overwhelming me, and yeah, I love to feel overwhelmed and powerless, I love to surrender control, it's its own sort of dark nature that lurks within me, it's I guess the "gothic lolita" that is so particular to me, a doll on a shelf, and being treated that way is a very dark desire of mine.
Today has been such a huge day for me, even though I haven't left the house and have just done work all day long. I went forward with emailing my prospective advisor about my dissertation topic on Korean literature, and he agreed to supervise this dissertation. Korean literature, and Hallyu 1.0, topics so important to me, will be legitimated as part of my scholarly identity. I feel like today is a kind of spiritual wedding day for my scholarly career (although the dissertation defense will more literally be that). My goal is to become a professor of Korean literature and that dream, as of today, is much closer. Almost fatefully, I happened to see this Soom Super Gem Girl sculpt that the vendor posted on Den of Angels. I was not in any danger of forgetting the elements of Korean imaginaries that make my blood run cold and my heart drop into the pit of my stomach. "Gross beauty," I have called it, but I really mean it in the nicest way. A number of Edgar Alla...
Comments