Still considering Evangeline in the future, but I feel what's right for me is to de-clutter what I have first, and I don't feel motivated to do that. It's very dispiriting to go through that room actually. I have many dolls I know I don't need that have many little pieces and ensembles I'm going to have to chase down, and I'm not going to get that much money for any of it.
I cannot even get into that closet to get some things I need, for sewing or otherwise, it's craziness.
I tried my Hot Looks clothes and American Girl clothes on Josette today. The Hot Looks tops work well, but the bottoms are too small. I don't know that the style suited her. Her presence is so different than my other Ha Yarn Cho. It's very difficult for me to believe it's the same doll. I have thought of comparing photos, but I feel almost touchy about it. I don't really want to think about the old Josette or the differences between the old and the new. The old Josette had a sly look about her that came out in photos that I disliked.
Josette is so, so shy. I can feel it when I approach her and especially when I work with her. I truly cannot conceive of a more perfect doll, and I'm so glad I didn't settle for less, so glad I did the crazy thing and bought another Ha Yarn Cho. I don't regret it at all. I feel far less afraid to try different things than I did before, less afraid to alter things.
When I worked with Josette today it seemed like she kept looking back at Leslie, and he at her. She didn't seem easy until she was back with him, and he didn't seem easy either. I feel like maybe they are soul mates in a way that I have never seen in dolls before. Maybe I have never felt ready to work with bjd's and feel their personalities the way I do now. I have come to a place in myself where I am a lot less inhibited. I go ahead and say or do the thing, and as my other creative and personal work has changed, it's only natural that my work with dolls would change too and become far more emotional and personal.
I don't want to hold back with my dolls just like I don't want to hold back with anyone else.
Maybe because I am open toward these dolls I am feeling their personalities in a way I never did before. I have had many dolls, including a Ha Yarn Cho, but things are completely different now. I feel I'm starting at a beginning. And I have had Leslie for almost two years now, in October, but not till now have I been ready to see this depth in him. It is just a lot easier for me to believe that these dolls have souls, that they are living in a sense, than it was before.
Because of my new-found respect for them, and my new relationship with them, I don't really want to distract myself with another doll. I personally need a distraction, and I find I am probably going to lose myself in my doll world like I did five years ago when I was in an upsetting and isolated situation for an extended time. I know I was unhappy during that time, but when I look back, I see the fun I had working with my dolls as something real and a positive part of my life experience. Putting my energy and my emotions into my dolls instead of despairing is difficult to do at a time like that, but looking back it saves me in a way. I feel that I was being defiant in a sense instead of allowing my life to turn into gray and unfeeling monotony, and feel affirmed by that self-expression.
Since I have acquired Josette, Leslie seems very masculine and very fine. ^_^ He has literally changed before my eyes from being sort of a mother's boy to an independent and purposeful young man with thoughts only for Josette. His soul feels very pure to me, and I feel I can embrace him and share love with him as I always did, but I feel very glad that he has emerged into this maturity that suits his physical form so well.
I have especially fallen in love with Leslie's face. It's a young boy's face, but next to Josette's it's a very masculine face, very bishounen in its relief that lends an excitement in contrast to her evident shyness and introversion.
I have plans for other bjd's in future. At work I write Josette's story in my mind at great length, even though I have written very little down. I am highly focused on another character Dannie, who falls in love with Josette's fiance. I know that Josette's fiance would be a Dollmore Model like herself, but I do not know if Dannie would be a Model or an SD. Dannie and Chessie are chambermaids in the house where Leslie lives. They grow up with him and are really his only friends. Dannie is a plain, bookish type, and I see her having to do manual work instead of expanding her mind as unfortunate. She is very attracted to Josette because of her educated background and is eager to learn whatever Josette will teach. Chessie, on the other hand, is obsessed with beauty and fashion and wants to copy Josette's clothing and looks as well as access all of her fashion magazines.
I see Josette's fiance Garth as a more conservative, less creative and less enlightened type. He is very intelligent but he has not thought much about love, marriage or what a woman who is to be his wife would need. I see him not able to completely understand his attraction to Dannie. She dresses plainly and her spectacles hide her innocent but unassuming face. She does not have the exotic stunning factor that Josette has, and he does not understand this growing impulse for friendship between himself and this bookish maid at all.
Because of Dannie's prominence in my mind, I see her as my next probable bjd. The Models are really my favorite dolls and the last word for me on doll elegance. Dollmore is my favorite company and consistently produces my ideal dolls. However I haven't yet seen a Model face that is like Dannie for me.
There was a doll I would like to be my Garth. I noted him years ago. I will look him up next I have chance, but this Dollmore male Model is the one I would wish.
I hope this week to spend more time writing down these story fragments.
I cannot even get into that closet to get some things I need, for sewing or otherwise, it's craziness.
I tried my Hot Looks clothes and American Girl clothes on Josette today. The Hot Looks tops work well, but the bottoms are too small. I don't know that the style suited her. Her presence is so different than my other Ha Yarn Cho. It's very difficult for me to believe it's the same doll. I have thought of comparing photos, but I feel almost touchy about it. I don't really want to think about the old Josette or the differences between the old and the new. The old Josette had a sly look about her that came out in photos that I disliked.
Josette is so, so shy. I can feel it when I approach her and especially when I work with her. I truly cannot conceive of a more perfect doll, and I'm so glad I didn't settle for less, so glad I did the crazy thing and bought another Ha Yarn Cho. I don't regret it at all. I feel far less afraid to try different things than I did before, less afraid to alter things.
When I worked with Josette today it seemed like she kept looking back at Leslie, and he at her. She didn't seem easy until she was back with him, and he didn't seem easy either. I feel like maybe they are soul mates in a way that I have never seen in dolls before. Maybe I have never felt ready to work with bjd's and feel their personalities the way I do now. I have come to a place in myself where I am a lot less inhibited. I go ahead and say or do the thing, and as my other creative and personal work has changed, it's only natural that my work with dolls would change too and become far more emotional and personal.
I don't want to hold back with my dolls just like I don't want to hold back with anyone else.
Maybe because I am open toward these dolls I am feeling their personalities in a way I never did before. I have had many dolls, including a Ha Yarn Cho, but things are completely different now. I feel I'm starting at a beginning. And I have had Leslie for almost two years now, in October, but not till now have I been ready to see this depth in him. It is just a lot easier for me to believe that these dolls have souls, that they are living in a sense, than it was before.
Because of my new-found respect for them, and my new relationship with them, I don't really want to distract myself with another doll. I personally need a distraction, and I find I am probably going to lose myself in my doll world like I did five years ago when I was in an upsetting and isolated situation for an extended time. I know I was unhappy during that time, but when I look back, I see the fun I had working with my dolls as something real and a positive part of my life experience. Putting my energy and my emotions into my dolls instead of despairing is difficult to do at a time like that, but looking back it saves me in a way. I feel that I was being defiant in a sense instead of allowing my life to turn into gray and unfeeling monotony, and feel affirmed by that self-expression.
Since I have acquired Josette, Leslie seems very masculine and very fine. ^_^ He has literally changed before my eyes from being sort of a mother's boy to an independent and purposeful young man with thoughts only for Josette. His soul feels very pure to me, and I feel I can embrace him and share love with him as I always did, but I feel very glad that he has emerged into this maturity that suits his physical form so well.
I have especially fallen in love with Leslie's face. It's a young boy's face, but next to Josette's it's a very masculine face, very bishounen in its relief that lends an excitement in contrast to her evident shyness and introversion.
I have plans for other bjd's in future. At work I write Josette's story in my mind at great length, even though I have written very little down. I am highly focused on another character Dannie, who falls in love with Josette's fiance. I know that Josette's fiance would be a Dollmore Model like herself, but I do not know if Dannie would be a Model or an SD. Dannie and Chessie are chambermaids in the house where Leslie lives. They grow up with him and are really his only friends. Dannie is a plain, bookish type, and I see her having to do manual work instead of expanding her mind as unfortunate. She is very attracted to Josette because of her educated background and is eager to learn whatever Josette will teach. Chessie, on the other hand, is obsessed with beauty and fashion and wants to copy Josette's clothing and looks as well as access all of her fashion magazines.
I see Josette's fiance Garth as a more conservative, less creative and less enlightened type. He is very intelligent but he has not thought much about love, marriage or what a woman who is to be his wife would need. I see him not able to completely understand his attraction to Dannie. She dresses plainly and her spectacles hide her innocent but unassuming face. She does not have the exotic stunning factor that Josette has, and he does not understand this growing impulse for friendship between himself and this bookish maid at all.
Because of Dannie's prominence in my mind, I see her as my next probable bjd. The Models are really my favorite dolls and the last word for me on doll elegance. Dollmore is my favorite company and consistently produces my ideal dolls. However I haven't yet seen a Model face that is like Dannie for me.
There was a doll I would like to be my Garth. I noted him years ago. I will look him up next I have chance, but this Dollmore male Model is the one I would wish.
I hope this week to spend more time writing down these story fragments.
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