When I am writing in my doll journal or posting pictures, it means that I am doing some doll stuff and otherwise having a life. When I am not posting in my journal or participating in any discussions, that means that I am obsessed with doll stuff.
Today is one of those days. Finally, I said, look, I'm going to go to Coffee Haus. The house is pretty much in order, now that I found that anti-static dusting spray. I'm going to go to town. Sooner or later I'm going to have a job, we're going to move, or both, and there won't be time for this any more, so I need to get it straight now.
I try to tell myself that doll photos and sites don't make themselves, that other people invest a lot of time in this. I have my strengths and I have my limitations. My strengths are that I can write stories, I can take pretty good pictures. My limits are that I can't make a web site from scratch unless the inspiration for it comes down on me from Heaven above, and that I can't put the story and the photos together. Not without a lot of effort. I want to do it, and I keep trying, but I feel so embarrassed when I do a bad job.
This morning I wrote this long, crazy list of what I want in a doll site. I came up with a whole bunch of different, little things I want to do. There's no one unifying site. Then, I started playing with Multiply, and I came up with this whole new overwhelming concept.
I started thinking about the creative worlds the Brontes made. This may have been, in part, my inspiration for Drommende and Cristalle, the two cities in which my characters Ophelia, Shelley and Johnny live. I began instantly inspired with how I would use the modules. A journal, a photo album, links to other dark places on the web and inspirational sites, a calendar with interesting holidays, like equinoxes, pagan celebrations, things I've always wanted to research. And then I realized that this is just another huge project. I didn't solve all my other dilemmas. I just made another one.
And I'm going to do that one, too. Add it to the list.
The problem is, where do my dolls end, and my characters begin. My doll world has some levity to it. It's supposed to be cute. Even the gothic stuff is supposed to be more Lemony Snickett than Horace Walpole, you know what I mean? When I wrote those doll profiles, they ended up being about the characters, and it rang false. The dolls are just supposed to be my kids. But I make everything so, so complicated.
My character world is very adult in nature. There's things in it that I don't want to relate to dolls. For me, dolls are innocent and uncomplicated creatures.
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