A Garden of Virtues

A few weeks ago,  I visited the Montgomery Street Antique Mall in Fort Worth for the first time in quite a while. They had some wonderful fashion dolls and fashion doll clothing for sale. I had so much fun wandering through the store and picking a few items, which included these three doll dresses and a (human) sewing pattern.  The dresses were only a dollar or two apiece, and each required some fixing-up. Today, I finally took the time to mend and iron the dresses, and take photos in the beautiful summer weather. The yellow sheath dress with brown dots is definitely a hand-made creation, and I believe the long, yellow evening gown is hand-made as well. The white sheath dress appears to be company-made, but I could be wrong. I thought this yellow evening gown looked so beautiful on Gertrude (Tropical Miko, 1985). I have had Gertrude since 2011. The gathering at the back had come loose and unraveled. I used a lot of Fray Check today! I covered every edge. Ironing the dress (car...

Today has been such a huge day for me, even though I haven't left the house and have just done work all day long. I went forward with emailing my prospective advisor about my dissertation topic on Korean literature, and he agreed to supervise this dissertation. Korean literature, and Hallyu 1.0, topics so important to me, will be legitimated as part of my scholarly identity. I feel like today is a kind of spiritual wedding day for my scholarly career (although the dissertation defense will more literally be that). My goal is to become a professor of Korean literature and that dream, as of today, is much closer. Almost fatefully, I happened to see this Soom Super Gem Girl sculpt that the vendor posted on Den of Angels. I was not in any danger of forgetting the elements of Korean imaginaries that make my blood run cold and my heart drop into the pit of my stomach. "Gross beauty," I have called it, but I really mean it in the nicest way.  A number of Edgar Alla...

Over the past several days, I have been going through my digital photo files, restoring images to old posts on this blog, and adding in doll-related posts from other blogs that are defunct. In so doing, I have come across old posts about dolls that I completely forgot I ever had. This 14" porcelain bjd, designed by Aidamaris Roman, is one of them. She was produced for Paradise Galleries under the name "Confetti," and I purchased her on August 24, 2012. She was absolutely amazing! Around this same time, I was head over heels over Emilie Autumn's "Opheliac" album, and it was impossible not to conflate this doll's appearance with the overall aesthetic of "Opheliac."  I named her Bettina Cinders. She was a little larger than a Barbie, but she slept in a Barbie bed covered with a vintage striped apron that matched her aesthetic. Additionally, she could wear some of the looser-fitting Barbie clothes, like those here.  I remember...

I just gave Dresden a good cleaning.  After her cleaning, I tried this silver wig on her, and I loved how it brought out that early Dream of Doll look. I decided to dress her casually and pose her with my Urban Decay Rock Superstar Face Case. The face case, a Christmas gift from my husband, is from the early 2000's (I collect makeup from that period). I tried to think of a good early-00's photo effect, but the only effects I associate with the period are black and white or blue tint, which would conceal the color of Dresden's newly-buffed resin. So, I settled for rounded corners, because I remember adding frames and the like to my digital photos back then.

I don't want to go out anymore.  I don't want to go out beyond the perimeter of this property. I just want to absorb the nature of this place. I have seen so much, and I just want to reflect. If I stay here long enough and think through and remember, I'll be able to unravel this tangle of places and people I've encountered over the years, and put everything in order. I'll have a complete understanding of all I've seen and done, then, if I could just take enough time here, and don't see anything else for a while.  I only want to go out to local places, because now, I have learned that the soil seethes with history, and that stones radiate stories. I have learned how to read history in the trees, soil, and stones, and I only want to go out to local places and read those stories, and experience the past overlaying the present. In those moments, the curtain between the past and the present vanishes. Nothing ever ...

To Garth: I don't know how to fuse your tattered energies together again. I thought I was the one who was meant to be saved.

Bettina loves tea parties and the opera. She has requested a gramophone to help her during her singing practice. 14" porcelain BJD, "Confetti," by Aidamaris Roman for Paradise Galleries.

Johnny has been in my thoughts, in my heart, almost continuously. I feel almost certain that I am going to find a Dollmore Calvin soon that I can afford and that I will have him again. Living without him and Josette in physical form caused me to realize that their presences are independent of a doll's form and that they exist primarily in my mind in a sense that is more powerful than a character from my stories. Suddenly, at random times, I breathe in his sweet essence. Sometimes, when I am driving, his presence seems closer. The above image is taken from my last photo story with him in March 2008. I scarcely had him past that date. I feel comfortable publishing photos of him now, as I do of the old Josette, I because I know he exists no matter what doll, or if any doll, is representing him. It doesn't matter that I don't own the sculpt any longer. I don't feel, as I once did, that I am misleading anyone into believing I have this particular doll, when I write...

Photo taken with my Dollheart app. My Serendipity Sharmin got new hands and brown eyes this week.

Thinking about my character, Shirley, today. An American girl with Scots-Irish heritage. She has her own horse. She's sixteen, with long, curling red hair. I have won my Serendipity Sharmin and will pick her up on my birthday. The seller agreed to my picking her up for free rather than paying shipping cost. I will pick her up on my birthday. We will stay in Austin for my birthday. What can be a better birthday than this? I will have lunch in Fairfield with my mom before I go to Austin to pick up my Sharmin.

I have been seeing the name "Ophelia" on gravestones; it seems to have been a popular name in the 1800s, but is less commonly-used now. The name brings my character, and former doll, Ophelia, and this journal to mind. I decided to start writing in this journal again. I have also been thinking of having a doll version of my character Ophelia again. I may get myself another ball-jointed doll for my birthday, but I'm not completely decided on it. This particular doll purchase would make for a really fun birthday for me, because I would be able to pick her up in Austin, which I love traveling to. The doll, a Serendipity Sharmin, has a broken finger, but a new set of ball-jointed doll hands is not really expensive. It's amazing that the cost of the doll is so greatly reduced for that reason. I had created a particular eBay search for this sculpt, because she has been on my wish list for so many years. There are several dolls that I am hoping to find on the secondhand ma...

For my second project of the year, I am knitting knees socks for Josette. So far, these are going according to plan.

I have made a New Year's resolution to make one hundred doll items in 2012. My first item is ruffled pyjama bottoms. So far, they don't look quite like I planned, but I'll have to see how they turn out.

One of the things I wanted to do on my trip to Durango, Colorado, was to take pictures of Klaus up in the mountains. I was able to take some snowy pictures of him on Christmas morning. I haven't had time to edit all of the photos. 

"Pretty Choices Barbie" (1996) A special gift from a friend.

I purchased "Belle's Tea Party" from Target with my Christmas gift card from work. Image from Worthpoint .

I'm so happy with how Leslie's stocking turned out. Tomorrow, I'll make Josette's. Santa has already brought their presents over, but they'll have to wait till Yule to open them.

I feel so down this weekend. I am depressed because my efforts to sell on eBay lately have been really unsuccessful. Half, literally, of the time the bidder doesn't pay, and it seems like half of the items I have mailed have gotten lost. I have actually lost money so far in my efforts to sell on eBay. I haven't succeeded in raising the money to pay for my doll, Bete. If I had known it would be this difficult, I wouldn't have bought him. It wasn't the time to make a big purchase. If I could have sold my American Girl Julie, the payment would have replenished half his cost. My heart sank when I saw that the winner just had a name made of random letters and numbers, with zero feedback.Going through the non-paying bidder procedure is time-consuming, and often the next-up bidder isn't interested in the item at that point. Yet nothing happens to deter the non-paying bidder. I'm so disappointed in how eBay has changed. I have always tried to be a conscientious sel...

Last week, a potted plant fell on my BJD's memory board and them, scattering soil everywhere. Thankfully, my dolls were unharmed, even though Leslie took a blow from the pot. I picked up most of the mess but waited until this weekend to do a deeper cleaning, which required taking apart the whole display and draperies. I rearranged Josette's books a little differently. I gave her three small Lutheran books that have been in my family for generations, although Josette is Catholic. In time, I would like for her to have a rosary, a small crucifix, Catholic prayer books, a scapula, and little pictures of Jesus and the Virgin. If we go antique shopping in New Mexico this Christmas, I might be in luck, because I remember seeing those kinds of items the last time we shopped there. I have some further ideas about Josette's and Garth's characters. Garth is Josette's fiancé. They have been friends from childhood, but in adulthood, Garth has acquired some dark experiences, i...

Every day, every morning, your face speaks to me. You are truly alive. You even know how impatient I feel to express how I feel. I am not really capable of it.